Freedom in a Life
by thelittlelostexplorer
Summary: This is a story of growth. Gawain/OC
1. Chapter One

I threw my hand up to shield my eyes from the brilliant sun

I threw my hand up to shield my eyes from the brilliant sun. I just basked in its warm rays. I closed my eyes when I heard my name being called. I didn't move from my spot, nor did I ponder who was calling my name.

"Lena, we have to get back to the wall. The sun will be setting soon. You have to come, even if I drag you." I just rolled my eyes as I began to stand up and straighten my skirts.

"Tyne, you always worry to much about nothing that needs worrying." I just glared at her after the statement and started my journey back to the wall.

We just talked and laughed as we made our way back to the village. We hardly gave a thought to where our feet were leading us.

"Lena? Are you starting work at the Tavern tonight?" Tyne questioned me as we made our way towards the Tavern.

"I would not be walking there if I wasn't working. Vanora told me to be there at sun down." I picked up my pace a little, just so I could get there before the sun set.

"Did I tell you I was talking to Vanora earlier, she told me the knights arrived back late last night." I stopped dead in my tracks, just a stones throw away from the Tavern.

"Oh come on Lena, your not truly scared of a couple of Knights?" She was holding back laughter. "Oh, wait I forgot you think they are womanizers." With that she burst in to a fight of giggles.

"Tyne, it's the truth, the whole lot of the Sarmatian Knights are a lot of womanizing pigs. Except for the strange quiet one who sits in the corner of the pub. He is just scary." I just laughed and walked back to the bar when I heard a voice that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Dear maid, have I or any of my brothers offended you in anyway?" I turned to look at the culprit who had ease dropped on my conversation.

"I am sorry knight, but I don't know your name, so I truly can not reply."

"Lancelot. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?"

"Well then Lancelot, my name is Lena. The only displeasure I have with you and your friends are that you treat me as a piece of meat. Now if you will please excuse me, I must get to work." With that, I turned on me heal and walked over to the Bar and Vanora.

"Girl, you shouldn't be so hard on them, ale and woman is all they have. If you don't want them then ignore them, give them their food and ale. Just don't be cruel." I nodded. I always liked Vanora, she was the lover of Bors, one of the knights. "Now, here is a pitcher of Ale, it looks like Lancelot, Gawain and Galahad need their cups to be filled."

I grimaced and walked over to the Knights table and began to fill Lancelot's mug before they took notice of me.

"Well milady you have come back to badger us about being pigs?" I looked to see a younger knight, curly dark brown hair with a gleam in his eye.

"Sir," My teeth were gritted, while I plastered a fake smile on my mouth. "You just merely over heard a conversation, I never badgered." After filling all of their cups, I caught the eye of another knight. While looking at him and walking away the pitcher of Ale slipped between my fingers and smashed on the hard ground.

"Shit." I murmured as I began to pick up the remnants of the pitcher. After picking up most of the large pieces I ran to the bar and hid. I slumped down behind the bar. I can't do this. I didn't know that my fists were clenched until right hand began to sere in pain. I looked down to see that I had cut my self on a chunk of the Pitcher.

"For the gods sake what else can go wrong this night?"

hey, I know this is super short. I just wanted to get everyones feet wet. The posts should be coming faster and much longer.


	2. Chapter Two

After hiding away behind the bar for several minutes in an attempt to compose myself, I wiped the stray tears off my cheeks and rose, willing myself not to look at their table. I straightened my dress and patted it trying to get some of the dust off. Then I tightened the bandage on my injured hand and picked up a pitcher of ale before going back to work.  
After several more hours of drunken men, ale and badgering knights I was finally able to leave the Tavern. I grabbed my cloak from the behind the bar and walked out of the tavern towards home. I was only a few steps away from the noisy crowd when I heard my name being called. "Lady Lena?" I paused and turned to see who had called my name; the voice was foreign and I did not recognize it. It was the fair knight with the long hair. The only one that hadn't badgered me; indeed he hadn't even talked to me, just watched me with his intense blue eyes, nearly the entire night.  
I was fixed to the spot.

"Can I help you sir?" I froze as he began to walk towards me. He stopped within a foot of where I stood and looked into my eyes before answering.

"Yes. I had to tell you something but before we could speak you disappeared. Then once you reappeared you managed to avoid my companions and my table. Now will you please not disappear or ignore me?" He smiled and looked at me for a retort. My breath was caught in my throat. I bet he had never been reprimanded by someone as low ranking as myself. I felt my insides grow cold as I slowly turned to walk away from the situation, which was completely the wrong thing to do

"Wait, where are you going?" I felt a hand on my arm turn me around to face him.  
We stared each other down for what felt like hours. My green eyes were no match for his deep blue eyes. Finally after a few deep breaths of the cool night air, I answered without looking the knight in the eye.

"What do you feel so compelled to tell me? It has to be something of importance if I cannot leave 'till you're done." I finally glared up at him.

"I was going to tell you that you cannot judge a group of completely different men by the rumors you have heard from second hand accounts. You expect them to be true. Not everything spoke in true in this forsaken fort. Not every knight in that tavern is a womanizing pig as you put it." He stared at me, his eyes boring into me made me want to squirm on the spot.

"I am sorry if I offended you… sir?" I stumbled when I realized that I didn't even know his name. I just stood, on the brink of tears. _No, I cannot cry_, scorning myself I blinked away tears

.  
"Gawain" He replied curtly.

"Well Sir Gawain, I am truly sorry. Yet, you don't know how your and some of your friends treat woman and myself for the most part. We are not merely pieces of meat to be had, nor are we just something to have for one night and then to be thrown away the next day. Yet thank you for pointing out my flaw in what I said, I will make sure to name the guilty and leave the innocent nameless. Have a pleasant evening Sir." And For the second time that evening, my arm was grabbed and I had to once again face the man I was arguing with. "What do you want now? I truly just want to go back to my home and sleep. I am not trying to be rude, or disrespect you but I haven't worked that hard in a long time, actually ever. My hand is in need of stitches and I just want to leave so make this quick. Please." I was practically begging by the end of my whiny speech. I looked up at the handsome knight, holding back the tears that were pooling in my eyes.

"Let me see your hand." I pulled it away from his grasp - there was no way that I was going to let him see my injury in this life or the next. "I am not going to hurt you, I give you my word as a knight." I held back a whimper as I knew he was telling the truth.  
Yet I studied his eyes and then slowly showed him my hurt hand. He lightly held it as he pulled away the cloth I had wrapped around it to slow the bleeding. He slowly started to pull the cloth from the gash.  
"Why did you not get this looked at right away? You need stitches." With that he grabbed my good hand and led me back to the Tavern. He pulled me through the throng of people until I stood in front of a colossal man. My eyes widened as I took in his whole form.  
"Dag, I have a favor to ask of you." Gawain said to the giant. With hearing that I began to grow light headed. I could see the fresh blood flowing from my palm. "Are you feeling well?" the blond knight asked me worriedly. I looked up at both Gawain and Dagonet as the room began to spin. I suddenly felt my knees buckle as everything went black.

My eyes fluttered open as I felt my hand searing in pain. I shot up from my sleeping position, only to nearly fall flat down again. My head felt as though it wasn't connected to my body.  
"Whoa little one, rest. I have only just begun stitching; it will be done in a moment." I looked up to see the massive pulling a needle and thread through the palm of my hand. My stomach rolled at the sight and I thought I was going to be sick.

"I find it easier not to look at the wound while he's working." I looked over to see Gawain perched next to me on a stool holding my uninjured hand. I sat there and shook like a leaf in a terrible storm, trying to hold back cries of pain while Dagonet stitched my hand.  
After an eternity of wincing and writhing in pain, the silent knight finally finished the last stitch. I let out a breath of relief as he cleaned the wound another time and bound it with cloth.

"Well thank you both, I really appreciate the hospitality and healing of sorts. Now I really must be gone." I turned to exit out of the infirmary and tried to casually walk and not run from the uncomfortable silence.

I took a large breath of the soothing night air as I began my way back home. I wasn't watching where I was going while my feet led me down a familiar path. I stopped suddenly in front of Tyne's house, letting out a quiet laugh I made my way around her house to the small window next to her room.  
I looked around for my usual barrel to climb upon. "Tyne!" I whispered as I found my barrel and began to pull myself upon it. I gingerly used my right hand, not wanting to tear the stitches, and looked in the window, spying my friend's slumbering form. "Tyne for the love of the gods, you sleep as though you haven't slept in a fortnight. Get up." With my final rant I had thrown myself through the window and onto her bed, where she sat up in alarm.  
"Bloody hell! Tyne, why did you make me climb all the way up and through you window?" The look on Tyne's face made me burst in to a fit of giggles. Tyne just rolled her eyes and climbed across the bed over to where I was perched.

"What made you come here? I heard you collapsed at the Tavern and Gawain took you to Dagonet to stitch your gash of some sort?" She looked enthralled. I wanted to question how she knew all the names of the knights, but there were other, more urgent things on my mind. I just waved my bandaged hand in front of her face before explaining my reasons for being here.

"That is the exact purpose that I am here, now get dressed; we need to go for a walk." I said as I pushed her off the bed and towards her dress that was laid across the chair.

"A walk? It's cold and what if we run into a Roman or a Knight? Neither would have good out comes Lena!" This time it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Tyne we have nothing to worry about, we have been out this late hundreds of times, and none of them can match you with your bow. So we could always just threaten them with my wit and charm and you with your bow and then run." I began to laugh at my own joke, as did Tyne, lacing up her dress and grabbing her cloak.

"You will be the death of us; I thought I would let you know that now." Tyne warned as we made our way as quietly as possible towards the door. Once outside, Tyne did not ask where we were going, we both just let our feet take us wherever they wanted.

"You cannot be truly serious? Lena, that is mad! He didn't just come up to you outside the Tavern." Tyne's eyes were wild and yet she was so funny sometimes. "Wait, Lena what are you doing at work tomorrow? Are you frightened or embarrassed?"

"I am going to serve ale and be merry tomorrow and ignore any of the jests that come my way. I am of course embarrassed, but it won't stop me from holding my head high." I said as I lay back in the grass outside of the village. This had always been our spot since we were children. This field was our favorite place to hide at when the world wanted us. I looked at Tyne I leaning against the solid oak tree as she contemplated what I had said.

Yet I was content just laying on the solid grassy ground as I gazed at the abundance of brilliant stars in the clear sky.

"Tyne?" She hummed to show she was listening. "Have you ever seen this many stars?" She just smiled and shook her head as she went on trying to defuse the situation. " I think it's a good sign, I really do. I think the gods wouldn't have spent so much time painting the sky so beautifully if they weren't going to make an even more glorious sunrise." It was my turn to smile this time as I leaned on my elbows to face Tyne once again.

"Lena, you know that most of the men bed all of the bar maids." My smile slowly turned into a glare at Tyne and I closed my eyes. "Don't look at me like that; you know it is completely true. So just to be safe from rumors lets just keep our conversations quiet about womanizing pigs." I looked fiercely at Tyne as she gave loud snigger, which lead into a fit of laughter.  
"I still can't believe Gawain was offended by your statement." Tyne spoke as she tried to even her breathing.

"How do you know the knights Tyne?" I questioned.

"Unlike you and Liam, I had to spend some of my time in the confines of the village. I couldn't spend the entire days of my youth with you and your brother."I sighed I missed the days when my brother had taught us how to shoot bows, showed us which plants were good for healing and how to riding horses. My heart ached thinking about those times.

"I still miss him every day." I wiped a stray tear from my eye, thinking about all of the good times they had, had growing up.

"I know, I miss him as well. But Lena, you cannot always blame yourself for what happened to him. It was an accident and nothing more. Just remember nobody holds it against you what so ever. Anyways, we shall see him again in the next life… Oh for the gods sakes, the sun is coming up. We have to get back to the village before everyone is up." Tyne stood and began to walk away. I just sat there for a moment knowing Tyne was right about the situation and to not linger on the past.

"Tyne, your mother is clearly already awake, so let's just stay here and watch the sun come up. Then we'll make our way back to the village. I swear." With that I stood up and walked away from the tree we were under and out on the hill to watch the glorious sun rise up into the clear sky.

"You were right." Tyne whispered not wanting to ruin the moment of the suns rising.

"What was I right about?" I questioned.

"The suns' rising is more beautiful than the stars of the night." I smiled brightly knowing that today would be a good day.


	3. Chapter Three

I don't own anything, except for Lena and Tyne.  
Chapter Three

Hadrian's Wall loomed before me, its large form cutting through the brilliant green fields. I closed my eyes as my long auburn hair blew in the soft spring wind. I smiled as I felt my braid from the night before, it was in complete disarray. Closing my eyes once more took a deep breath of the crisp clean spring air. I smelled the fresh dew of the morning, along with the smell of grass. The air made me grin as I opened my eyes to check to see where my feet were leading me.

"Lena?" I looked up at Tyne. She was the exact opposite of myself. From how tall she was to her brilliant blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. "Hello? Lena?" She waved her dainty hand in my face.

"Sorry Tyne, I was daydreaming. What's the matter?" I once again looked up at Tyne. I felt as though everyone towered over me. Tyne was elegant, tall and slender. She was everything a lady should be. I was short and thin, and hated sewing and cooking, and was repulsed by marriage. I was a loner. Everyone thought me odd except for Tyne.  
Breaking me out of my thoughts, Tyne began questioning me again.

"I keep wondering how many people would scorn us if they found out how many nights we didn't sleep, but instead decided to sneak out into the fields and watch the stars." She whispered this as we walked into the fort. Even at this early hour the fort was buzzing with activity. Dodging a dip in the path I answered.

"Well I want to say the same amount of people that would scorn us for our adventures as would scorn me for not wanting to get married." I began to laugh when Tyne's already pale face turned one shade whiter and broke into a brilliant smile. I winked and nodded.

"That many people huh?" Tyne winked at me in return and began to laughing when she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. "Look Lena it's your favorite people." I looked in the same direction across the busy street and saw the entire group of knights, along with a few unfamiliar faces. Without a second thought I dove behind the nearest thing; a conveniently placed barrel.  
Peeking around it, I saw Tyne making her way over to me. "Lena! This is completely childish." She exclaimed irritably. "Do they even know why you dislike them so much? Or do they just think you are some cynical woman?" I glared at her; she knew I hadn't told them what I founded my revulsion on.

"Of course I didn't tell them." I ran my hand over my mess of curls in an attempt to tame them. I groaned and pulled on the cloth that bound my hair and began to finger comb it before re braiding it.

"It's time to forget the past - Geraint is dead and buried. Just because he was a knight and a bastard doesn't mean that they all are." She grabbed my good hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Today is a new day just as you said and they are completely different men. Just remember you said today was going to be a good day. Don't forget that you can make this day good or bad. Lets make this work ok, I am here for you no matter what happens alright?" Tyne smiled at me as she cupped my face in a loving, sisterly way.

I was shocked she brought it up. Geraint had relentlessly tried to bed me, to the point of harassment. Which thank the gods stopped after his death. It all happened so long ago. I know I shouldn't hold it against, them but the memory still hurt.

I was just so young when it had happened, I had barely seen sixteen summers when he began its advances. Five years was surely enough time to heal old wounds. Tyne was right, today was a new day and he was no longer with us. Her speech was good, but it didn't really want to make me move from behind my hiding place.

A moment later I groaned in defeat. I looked at her, we were both looking the worse for wear in yesterdays clothing. I could see her eyes sparkle; this wasn't going to be good.

I knew she had something up her sleeve when she just grasped my hand and pulled me from the safety hiding spot. Feeling self conscious once again, I ran my injured hand over my skirts to get some of the dirt off of it before I had to attempt to talk to them.

"So Tyne, it's so beautiful this morning." I inhaled a large breath of the crisp morning air for an added effect. I was attempting to act naturally as she walked nonchalantly in the direction of the knights as I was dragged in tow. Tyne looked confused for a moment before it finally dawned on her what I was attempting to do. She slowed her pace and let go of her death grip on my wrist before answered grinning

"It's absolutely breath taking in the fort if I say so myself." She flipped her hair as we began to pass the talking knights. I shot her daggers as she attempted to inconspicuously get their attention.

"Lena?" I knew the deep soothing voice. I stopped in mid step and turned to face Dag.

"Good morning Dagonet," I said in a sweet voice trying to make myself seem somewhat sane after my lack of sleep. I shuddered; I could feel all of the knight's gazes boring into me.

"Well, it's been absolutely lovely seeing all of you but we must be running along." Turning to walk away Tyne grabbed my injured hand. I let out a small cry remembering how I had torn the fresh stitches the night before. "Ouch!" I glared at her for a moment. The word traitor kept coming to mind as I stared her down.

"Wait, how is your hand?" I glanced at Gawain, moving forward, and towards me after stating his question. With his advancement I took a cautioned step backwards.

"It hurts? I don't really know I haven't paid much attention to it since I left the infirmary." I lied as I glanced down at my palm to see it had bled somewhat through the night. I toe'd the dirt ignoring the pain from my hand and the anxious gazes of the men.

" I probably tore some of the stitches."I once again lied, I knew I had torn some of my stitches. Yet I was not going to tell them of my adventure from the night before, and how I had climbed into my best friends window. It took me hours to notice I had actually torn my stitches.

I looked up to see stern gazes from both Dagonet and Gawain. "Did I tell you I am sorry today? Because I owe you all a group apology for being extremely rude, also I am sorry about tearing my stitches. I must have hit them in my sleep." That answer caused a small giggle from Tyne.

I looked up at Dagonet and Gawain with such sincerity which made Tyne laugh, which turned into a cough almost instantly. I truly hoped that they did not notice the difference.

"You know what Lena; you probably tore them when you climbed into my window." I shot Tyne a look and burst out laughing. Lancelot and Gawain exchanged a confused look before they looked from Tyne to me.

"Right, I guess I can have a calm mind now that I know I don't have a strange sleeping antics." She laughed yet again catching my sarcasm, I just grinned before I saw a shadow looming over me. I prayed a quick silent prayer of protection to the gods before turning around.

"Come with me and we will check your stitches." Dagonet grabbed my arm and began to drag me towards the infirmary before I could even think to protest. Thank goodness for my quick reflexes, because within seconds I began spitting out ever excuse I could think of.

"No! It's fine I swear, its probably old blood!" I could still graphically remember the pain from last night's stay in the infirmary. Looking back to see if Tyne would help me, yet to my utter dismay she was too involved in talking to Galahad and Gareth to notice my pleading eyes. Bastards took my bestfriend from me in my hour of need. I began to formulate another excuse before I noticed that all the knights were indeed following us towards the healing room. I moaned again as I felt my tears pooling in my eyes.

It was to early to be dealing with this, especially on no sleep. I was feeling vunerable and uneasy as I began having vivid flashbacks of the night before, My stomach clenched again as I made my way up the stairs to the second floor.I began shaking like a leaf thinking about the needles and blood I was about to see. Stopping dead in my tracks I wiped a stray tear away before Dagonet lightly pushed me forward.

I stopped again when the door loomed before me and tried to plead feebly but was pulled through the door. My nose crinkled my nose at the stench of herbs. The nausea hit me like a large stone. I felt woozy and light headed before I collapsed once again. Yet before I hit the floor, shrieks and several yells were heard.

"Do you think she will be alright? She took quite the fall." Why was Tyne worried? Who fell? Then it all suddenly came back to me. I inwardly cringed as the whole scenario came back to me. Hmm, I wonder if I could play off being asleep... I can't do that to Tyne.

"She just fainted, she will be fine" Lancelot was obviously trying to hold back his laughter. I had to admit, had it not been me who was stuck in this situation it would be rather comical.

Knowing I couldn't let Tyne be worried any longer, I took a deep gulp of air and began slowly opening my eyes.

"Oh thank the gods, you scared me." Tyne looked paler then usual as she stood next to the cot I was on. Brilliant someone had carried me after I had fainted. Sending yet another plea filled prayer to the gods, I attempted to sit up.

"Whoa, Whoa little one, be careful. You hit your head when you fainted. Mustering courage I looked up at the most radiant set of blue eyes I had ever seen. He gently helped me lay back down before going and talking to the rest of the group. I just closed my eyes and hoped I would disappear into the bunk.

"Lena, I am going to home. I will meet you at the tavern at sunset. Alright? Now let Dagonet stitch your hand, then you go home and sleep till you have to work." With that Tyne brushed the hair off of my forehead and kissed it. Smiling I thanked her as she swiftly left with a majority of the knights following with several "Get Wells" and "Goodbyes".

Gawain made his way back over to the side of the cot before sitting himself on the stool next to it.

"We didn't really introduce ourselves well last night. I am Gawain." I smiled weakly as I noticed Dagonet had just brought his supplies and own stool to the other side of the bed to begin his work.

"Lena, I think you already know that though." I attempted to smile slightly as Dagonet began his work on my hand once again.


End file.
